Tag Archives: Minnesota

I need to pick my Lt Governor soon

I was outside the other day outside a coffee shop drinking some coffee and it was raining.  A guy walked out of the coffee shop with his coffee and I yelled at him, “Hey guy, I’m running for Governor.  What do I gotta do to get your vote.”  The guy stopped and yelled he’d vote for me in the primary if I picked him as my running mate.

Well I didn’t know this guy.  I thought about following him home to see what he’d be like in real life, but decided to stay at the coffee shop and think about things instead.  I’ve got to pick a running mate and I have to do it fast.

The only person who has made a decision is Tom Emmer and I don’t think the guy he picked is a good fit because I read somewhere that he wanted to do away with the Lt Governor office anyway.  I thought he was going to pick Mark Seifert, because that would have been a real pair, but he didn’t.

Mark Dayton, Matt Entezna, Margeret Kelliher and me are all running in the primary and none of us have picked yet!  Yikes!

I started looking back in Minnesota politics and wanted to pick someone who isn’t a joke and who will take me seriously.  The DFL won’t take me seriously, so I need to find someone who they can take seriously.

I think one idea is Ray McCloney.  I think a lot of people remember him and saw him on TV.

I also think maybe this Chick Nicholas guy sounds smart.  He wants to do tourism, which I want to do.  Maybe him then?

I don’t know.  Maybe you guys have some ideas.


What I don’t like about Parades

I really don’t like how I can’t do parades or anything. it’s either too expensive or they won’t let me bring my truck in.

I think any candidate for Governor should be allowed to march in parades and hand out candy and talk to supporters. kids can’t vote, but their parents see you give them candy and like you and may vote for you.

so many people go to parades that you could easily win an entire election just from doing parades. Thats why I’m so upset I can’t be in more.

I also don’t like driving everywhere, so maybe this is good, but I think I should have the option of walking in parades for free. That’s an idea I’d support if I were Governor.

Well, I hate you people.

I can’t understand why the Democratic DFL party can’t take me seriously. I’ve run enough times now to know what it takes to be Governor. They’re loss.

I even proposed a bunch of good ideas today and everything and people just wouldn’t listen. I’d keep the Minnesota State Fair open all year round so we can do tourism and make money so we wouldn’t have to raise taxes.

And then I had my truck smashed into when I was at the casino! That was terrible!

Casinos always have great buffets. Here’s another idea. Feed the homeless people with the stuff nobody ever eats at the buffet. Who wants to eat that weird tasting macaroni and cheese? give it to the homeless!

And I meant what I said today. I’m just going to show all of you people. I’m going to show you that Im serious and you’ll be wishing you hadn’t laughed at me. I’ve got great ideas if you’d bother listening to them.

and you might as well change the DFL mascot to a unicorn! I’ll give you that one for free because it’s a great idea and it would be popular with people.